Seeing Terrorism Through a Compassionate Heart

It was like going back to those hard times where war was just happening within miles from our doorsteps and there were smoke, sounds of siren and riots everywhere. We would never thought, that our beloved city could be the target of terrorism, much more being bombed in several different locations for the span of just two days.

I sat here and couldn’t help but wonder, what about those parents who just lost both of their children because of the bombing? How would parents feel to have to go through such pain and so many why’s? What about the wife who just lost her husband, leaving her with their baby who is only less than twelve months old? She wouldn’t ever thought that on one fine Sunday morning, when her husband said goodbye to her to volunteer at church as he always does every sunday, that it would be the last goodbye. The amount of suffering seeing our loved ones experiencing a third-degree burns on 80 to 90 percent of their bodies – how could you describe that kind of pain? And tell me, how to carry on?

I still believe, that every human being is capable of love, and that each of us understands what humanity really is. There is not one baby born into this world and all the sudden decided, “I want to be an evil person when I grow up.” You know what I mean? But sadly, this world that we live in, is far from perfect. A once pure, innocent soul can be so mentally damaged by this world that they can become so corrupted that made them think such behavior is justified, with whatever reason it may be whether it be religion or anything else.

But when something incredibly heartbreaking like this happen, and when this is happening in our own backyards, affecting the people that we know of, it could create such hatred and so much anger inside of us, isn’t it? Sometimes we could be too focused on the excuse the terrorists are using to do such thing like this (such as religion in this case) and then we get mad and we point fingers to one another. Isn’t this exactly what terrorism is all about? To be able to create hate within all of us and to eventually leading us to go to war against each other in the end? I understand all of these mixed emotions and feelings but if only we could try to contain all of these pain, anger and hatred energies and transform them all into as much healing energies – to help each one in need, to do something in the best way we possibly could to help others, and to unite in humanity, and to understand, that even for this, there is a greater meaning that God had orchestrated for our lives. We are capable of helping each other and care about each other. We each can do something to make a small difference in other people’s lives. There might not be a lot that we can contribute when something like this happen (unless we’re police officers, doctors, nurses or emergency response team) but at least, we can try to make a difference by doing what we can in ways we know how. How about giving more tips to a taxi driver knowing that he had an awful day because no one wanted to go outside today and just simply giving him encouragement that this will soon be over with. He has a family to go home to today, and probably what he earned wasn’t enough. Maybe just by being kind to a stranger can change his mind about humanity. And maybe, eventually, once we decide to want to be the difference maker in the world, maybe, we could prevent things like this to happen in the future. And maybe, we could see to it that something that was meant to harm us, in actuality made us stronger. Always, always, believe in humanity. Create a better world, if not for us, for our children to live in. Any one of us can make an impact to create a better world. Don’t ever believe that we can’t do anything. We are stronger together.

Matthew West – Do Something

Is finding the right one for you really worth the wait – Who should I date : Part 1

It’s not easy to have faith, especially when you live in a society that doesn’t have the same philosophy as you. Waiting is very tiring and there are times when you feel like you just want to give up and ignore the red flags and just settle. If you think you will be happy with your choice, then by all means, settle. To each their own is true when it comes to finding love. Some people just want someone to company them. Some wants a security in all kinds of forms. Some wants some kind of a prince charming to be with for whatever reason. Some craves the adrenaline rush of a bad boy project. And then, some wants to have that real love – to be with someone they’re meant to be with.

We all have some sort of idea of who our ideal partner should be. For me, I always fall for a certain type of guy as well. But just because that type of person is what you wanted in your heart (or head, for some people), does that mean that he is the right one for you? Some people can give someone a chance and could be in love with that person, but some really can’t force love to happen when it really wasn’t there in the first place, and as for me, this is what happens. I really can’t force love when I don’t feel it ever since the beginning. So for me, I know that I can’t just settle with anyone no matter how good that person is. And it’s getting harder as I’m becoming more successful in life to actually find a guy who is man enough to have the confidence to approach me. I couldn’t help but ask the question, is it wrong for girls to be able to shine bright and be successful on their own? Do I have to put some boundaries on myself and that I can’t fly too high just because I’m a girl?

I think it’s time for the world to realize that this is not just a man’s world, and just because a girl can work that doesn’t mean that she can’t still be a girl. But for any alpha females out there who happen to be reading this, please allow me to say this: no matter who you choose your partner to be, whether it be a beta male or not, the guy still deserves your respect. I’ve been in that position before and I know having such power at work can seriously impact your personal life. You become this tough person because at first, you were required to be one and then after a while you become accustomed to it until later it becomes your identity. Some females are born tough. Some become tough because of the situation and if this is you, please look back inside to find the person you truly are, because that tough  personality you’ve been putting out is only a mask. And it’s just too tiring to be wearing a mask for the rest of your life. It’s okay to be that naive, vulnerable and soft girl that you are. Don’t be afraid to show who you truly are just because you’re afraid to get hurt. Don’t get too caught up with your own defense mechanism that you no longer can remember who you are on the inside. Everything is about finding the right balance in life. I believe that no matter how the world is leading toward feminism, as a woman we have a responsibility to respect our man if we want our relationship to work.

So as I was saying, is being with the love of your life really worth the wait or not, I will always say, yes. A thousand times yes. Yes, it’s really worth getting through every single heartbreak from every wrong guys to finally find the right one for you. Because this person will be able to see who you truly are, not what you appear to be on the surface. And that is why I am still here waiting on that person who can see me for who I am, not what I seem to be.

… to be continued

 

A Lesson I Learned from Mrs. Potts

People say a lot of awful things in anger. It is our choice whether or not to listen

~ Mrs. Potts (Beauty and the Beast)

Once a word is said, we can’t take it back no matter how bad we want it to. I think in life, we all have experienced this (many for some) when we get upset or mad or sad and even though we may not mean what we said, it wouldn’t matter because we can’t take it back.

We know what it feels like to regret the things we have said and wished that we could take it back if we could but when it comes to other people we can’t seem to give them the benefit of the doubt that they didn’t mean what they said when they said those hurtful words. But then again, it is somewhat understandable since we don’t know what’s inside other people’s hearts anyway, right? So of course when we feel hurt we would all the sudden go to our defensive mode and protect ourselves so that we won’t get hurt again. And sometimes, if the hurt they feel is very painful, they will start their offensive mode and start saying hurtful things as well to hurt the other person back.

Sometimes, people say hurtful things to you and they really don’t mean any of it. But it is really up to us whether or not we want to listen. If we choose to listen to those words and let it get to us, it’s the same with taking the dump other people throw at us and eat it. No. We’re supposed to let it fall on the ground so our garden can have the nutrition it needs and therefore grow. These people that throw dumps on us, sometimes they can be a total stranger or sometimes they’re very close to us, but no matter what, understand that they are just human beings who happened to have a lot of dumps in their unhappy life (because happy people don’t go around throwing dumps on other people) and they don’t know better ways to distribute their dumps other than throwing it out to other people.

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People say a lot of things in anger. It is our choice whether or not to listen.

So instead of being angry at them, we should feel sorry for them for being the person that they are. And I’m not just saying this because it seems like a good writing or anything, but I also know what it feels like to be receiving the dumps all the time and more than anything, I know that it is very hard to try to ignore and not let those words get to us. But no matter how bad the person is, know that at least they deserve the benefit of the doubt and that they too would regret what they said to us, even if we will never know that for sure for the rest of our lives. Because if we want to take in every single hurtful words that we receive in our lifetime, I’m afraid that we won’t be able to process it through and heal our hearts fully, because those dumps will always keep on being thrown at us during our lifetime. So instead, for our better self, let it go. Don’t take it in; let it fall on your ground. Let your garden grow instead.

Give Us Some Time To Balance It All and Give You the Best of Both Worlds

This is to all of us who can relate to this story:

No, really, we get it. We are the generation who are supposed to know better because we were raised better, trained better. We are the last generation before the “Millennial”. We didn’t have all the privilege as the Millennial do because we were raised in different standards – we were raised in “old style” where we’re always expected to be well behaved and we need to show respect no matter what it is. And we’re already used to it, believe us, that you always expected more out of us anyway and we’re completely fine with it.

And to some of us who happen to have to follow the path of “inheriting” the family business, I’m here to say, I feel you. Some people might tell you that you’re lucky and all for having everything ready for you and not having to have to go through all the process of finding your dream job and climbing your corporate ladder but hey guess what? When we are given the chance, we actually want to do all that. We actually find all those things to be the luxurious things in life – to be able to decide about your own life on your own for once, because we didn’t get to do all that. Our lives are pretty much predetermined already and as much as our parents want to say that they’re not controlling us but in actuality, they do. And no, they won’t ever admit it, I’m sorry. So here we are, being taught to be all strong and independent so that we can continue to be the backbone of our family (the last time I checked an independent person doesn’t run back to his/her parent and ask for a permission about a business deal-they just do it themselves) but yet we also need to be submissive to our parents still, because this is how we are raised, right? Ok – if I can please have a moment here please: Can you all please help us out by at least give us a little bit of time to adjust so we can be ourselves again?

All of this pressure that you’re putting in our shoulder – to tell you the truth, is a bit too much to handle for a 20 something year old. And it’s not that we can’t do it- but please do realize that we are still young, and we are still adapting and growing here. Please know that at the bottom of our hearts, we truly love and respect our parents the most because yes, we were raised better and yes, we know better. Respect, however, comes in many forms. Just because you don’t control the money anymore that doesn’t mean that we would stop respecting you because our respect and love do not come from you providing us the money. And please do not mistaken that you need the power to control us for us to be able to respect you. In actuality, our respect and love comes unconditionally to you, because you have given birth to us. Because you have done the best you possibly could in ways you know how to raise us. And for that, we are eternally grateful to you, our parents, for making us the person that we are right now.

So yes, we are the generation who are supposed to know better and we were taught better. It’s not easy to be us, but we just have to deal with the cards we’ve been dealt and just have to make the best of it. One day some day, life will all make sense and we will know the reason why they have to be this hard on us.

Accepting an Apology that Got Lost in the Mail

Forgiveness. It may be easier for some than others, but we gotta admit that when it comes to this particular word, it will never be a one time process and in some cases, it’s not even a linear one. Some days are good days, some days are worse. Sometimes, we can try to forgive and not being in contact with the person. But in other cases, the person we are trying to forgive is the person we encounter in our daily lives – and I think this is an even harder process to carry.

I, for one, am used to be someone who forgives easily – at least to most people who happened to have hurt me at some point in my life. It was too easy for me to forgive others that the people who are so close to me are often become very overprotective of me because of this “feature” that I have. But how can it be, for someone like me, who happens to have a rapid cell regeneration when it comes to healing the hurting heart – how can I get stuck in this forgiving process with one particular person?

Hard is not even the right word to describe it. I would say, people won’t usually require me to forgive when it already comes to this stage. And sadly, this is what I truly hold dear, the fact that “this” is not okay and it’s not right and I by any circumstances should not be required to forgive this person.

But as I hardened my heart even more to this idea of me forgiving this person, I feel like there is something holding me back from time to time. I wanted to spread my wings and fly, but there is this burden buried deep inside my heart that keeps me from soaring high. And then I realized, that what they said about you holding a grudge on someone is more detrimental to you rather than to that person is actually true. So now here I am, by divine intervention (again), face to face once again with the hard truth: why is it so hard for me to give forgiveness away to this person? How do you forgive a person who is incapable of remorse? How could you forgive someone who doesn’t feel a bit guilty of what they’ve done to you? To tell you the truth, I am still learning myself.

Too often we get too caught up in this idealism or unenforceable rules* in life that we often call it as “should” – something like, parents should be loving or spouses should be loyal to one another, or people shouldn’t lie to me or the bad person should go to jail, and etc. Even when we agree to those statements, we can’t really enforce the rules to be true. Sometimes, rather than wasting our time and energy trying to enforce an unenforceable rules to other people (which in the end we’ll be the one who end up being frustrated as hell anyway), maybe it’s time to change our method to just accepting the person as he/she is by enjoying their good qualities (yes, they do have good qualities – no matter how bad they are) while mitigating on the bad ones.

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I know one thing for sure that life does not put me in a situation which I cannot handle. And I know that even though it is against every bone in my entire body to go through the process of this forgiveness, I owe it to myself that I have to continue this journey until I reach the finish line. Because I want to be able to breathe again. Because I want to be me again. Because I want to live again.

So if this is what it takes, then I will accept the apology that I will never receive, and forgive with my whole heart. After all, life is a journey and we are all just learning to be a better person than we were yesterday.

*Triumph of the Heart by Megan Feldman Bettencourt

A Little Introduction

Hi everyone, and welcome to my page.

I am so excited that I have finally decided to create my very own blog and I do hope that you will enjoy my stories as much as I love writing them.

 

But before I continue on this journey with you, here’s a few facts about me that I’d like to share with all of you

I’m very passionate about writing – so passionate that I feel like there’s something burning inside of me every time I write about something that moves me. So finally I’ve decided to follow it and give this passion of mine a platform to show its full capacity. I am hoping that through my writing, I can help to inspire, lift and encourage others.

Another thing that I’m passionate about is to make this world a better place to live in. To know that I too can make a difference and touch lives of others. There is this burden inside of me that I need to let out – even if I could only help just one person in this world, that would be more than enough for me.

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I used to tell myself that I don’t have enough time to do any social work since I’ve got bills to pay and I really can’t afford not working, so I would just donate and that would be my justification to myself that I have contributed. But the truth is, it was never enough.The  feeling to want to do more and help others would still come up to the surface every now and then. You notice how a cancer survivor could appreciate life more than the rest of us and would feel the need to help other patients in tough times and give them encouragement? When you’re a life survivor, you’d want to contribute more and encourage others in need. By this I don’t mean that I have such a hard and tough life, but let’s just say that it has not been an easy one. I’ve been knocked down multiple times and I still have a lot more rounds to go 😉

I’m also very passionate about fashion. Not about the latest trend or the must-have-item of the season, but the craftsmanship itself – from the choosing of the material to the way the craftsmen stitches and how the cutting would fit perfectly on you; the beading, the soft leather, the silk – I could go on and on about this but you kinda get the hang of it rite :p

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It is so sad that nowadays the industry has moved more and more toward consumerism and therefore has compromised the quality of the product. I always choose quality over quantity so I would buy certain luxury items which I think would be a great investment or would be a great key piece to my wardrobe that would last for the longest time, not the latest trend that could change in a matter of the changing of the season.

Last but definitely not least, I am very passionate about my little sister. She is the sweetest girl I’ve known. I took care of her ever since she was a baby until when she was six years old, and being apart from her has always been the hardest part of me leaving home.

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Whenever I’m at home and if I come home late, she would fall asleep in my room waiting on me to come home. When she woke up the next morning and saw me sleeping next to her, she would hug me so tight and gave me thousands of kisses. If I could only choose one out of the things I’m most passionate about, I would choose her over anything else in a heartbeat

 

And therefore, all of the above pretty much sums up everything about me. I’ve always been an easy book, and I will remain to be one.

Thank you for all of you and I hope you would enjoy this journey with me 🙂