So in continuation to my previous letter (Is finding the right one for you really worth the wait – Who should I date : Part 1), now let’s talk about the actual love itself shall we
There are many different types of love, like I said previously, depending on what your priorities are. And I can’t say that one is right and the others are wrong, because all types of love are still love. If you want someone to share the same values and hobbies as you, you will find someone exactly like that. Eventually people will find what they’re looking for. But what I really wanted to talk about in this chapter is the meaning of love itself.
To me, love is the willingness to give all of you to another person, to not afraid to sacrifice everything and anything you have for the sake of another human being. This is often called an unconditional love, and people mostly experience this kind of love with their children.
But this kind of love does exist in between two adults as well, it’s just that we rarely see this because most of us are afraid of this kind of love.
We’re too scared of getting hurt, of being disappointed and being torn apart for having to love someone else like that.
And since we’re not willing to risk everything, we then choose the easier kind of love, in which we choose our partners based on our needs. If we think that this person can fulfill what we need the most, then this is the one. And don’t get me wrong, this is 100% love as well.
I don’t think there is any right or wrong when it comes to love. Everyone experience it differently and we all have different love languages as well.
I personally only want that kind of love: the kind that makes your heart goes slower and faster at the same time even after twenty years later, the kind that makes you want to give up everything for this other person’s happiness, the kind that makes you a better person because of this person. And I believe 100% with my whole heart that this other person will love me the same. But this kind of love will also have its own obstacles. It won’t be easy at times and it definitely won’t be a smooth ride all the way. But hey, life is hard and very unpredictable in itself. If I don’t truly love my partner in life, how can love survive till death do us part?
But this kind of love can happen only after we have found our true self, after we feel secure about ourselves and after we know what self-love actually means.
Because if we don’t, sadly we won’t be able to know the difference between an asshole and a prince charming, and we will be the one ended up getting hurt all the time.
I can speak like this because it’s based on my own experience, and I have been hurt many times for loving someone so deep until I realize that I have to find myself first, be content for who I am and be happy by myself in order for me to have the right kind of love for me.
No one is capable of making you happy other than yourself, not even the love of your life. Because once you let other person be the reason for you to be happy or unhappy, that puts so much weight on that person’s shoulder, sometimes more than they can carry. Because happiness is found within ourselves. We have to be able to be content with ourselves and celebrate the unique, one of a kind amazing person that we are to be truly happy.
Once we find that right balance within ourselves, then we can attract the right kind of love for us.
And believe me, the person that is made for us really does exist. We just have to believe it enough and be willing to wait for the right person to come along, rather than settle with whoever we could find.