Have you ever stop and think for a moment, that there are over seven billion people in this world and you’re supposed to find that one person that you are meant to share your life with?
But sometimes, we’re so focused on finding our happy ending we don’t learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don’t; the ones who will stay and the ones who’ll leave. Maybe the happy ending is this: knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment, YOU NEVER GAVE UP HOPE
~ He’s just not that into you (2009)
This letter is not about finding our happy ending, not about how to get a guy or how to spot a good guy from all the bad ones, and definitely not about how to play the game (or the rules – however you wanna call it) to get your dream guy. This is a letter for those who wants to get a deeper understanding about love and relationship and for those who still wants to believe in real love.
There are many types of love and many reasons of why people choose their love partner; some choose the ones they are familiar with, some want the easy ones they can manipulate so that they can always get what they want, some want a certain type because they feel safer that way, some want a life partner and a best friend, some want someone who will challenge them to be a better person everyday. Now I can’t say that one is better than the other and which one is the right one, because everyone has different priorities about who their love partner should be. Who we want to be with depends on our priority in life and our perspective in seeing love.
Now after I’ve said all of that, to try to find that one person who will truly love you and value you how you deserve to be valued, you are bound to have some errors and encounter a couple of wrong “frogs” until you will eventually find your prince charming. But how do we know and differentiate a lesson from a soulmate? People keep on saying : spot the red flags and yes, they are right. Don’t be blinded by it. But how to be able to see it when you’re deeply in love? Trust me, your gut feeling is there for a reason. Don’t try to change him or hope that he will change one day. Don’t justify an action and don’t keep on thinking that no one is perfect so maybe I should just accept their weaknesses too. I’m not saying that this statement is not true, but when you are with someone you’re meant to be with, this wouldn’t even come up on your mind. You will think, he is such a mess and there are this and this that I really can’t stand it when he does that sometimes but hey you know what? When he loves me or when he looks at me he makes me feel like I’m the most beautiful girl in the world. This is what would happen when you meet the right person. His strength will supersede his weaknesses and you won’t even have to justify anything.
There are those guidance and rules out there of how to get your man and you should play the game if you want to be with the man of your dream – and I don’t really like that game. Yes we can play the game and yes you could be with someone you want but the real question is, does he want you? Most people are looking for the end result that they can be with someone they want but a marriage itself is not the ending here. In contrary, it is just the beginning of your new life. This is where you will see the world on another level and either you grow together or you grow apart but definitely all of us will grow. We won’t be the same person we are ten years from now, we weren’t even the same person ten years ago. If you are presenting yourself in some ways that you’re not and playing the game just to get a guy, I don’t think you will be truly happy later on in life.
Keep in mind that not all guys can fall into a certain criteria, so if you say that this guy is doing this so it means that he’s like this – this is not always the case because guys have different characters too. But there is one thing they have in common: all guys are simple minded. So if he is not texting or calling you or looking for you, he really is just not that into you. Even for some guys, when they do call and look for you it doesn’t always mean that they’re that much into you either.
Yes I agree that it is very hard to find a good guy out there and like I said earlier, we all have different priorities about wanting who our love partner is so we will get hurt along the way when we meet the wrong ones but know for sure that every time you get your heart broken, you are just that one step closer into finding the right one. Don’t lose hope; I know it can be very tiring especially when we try to find that one person among everyone else. You will encounter some people who will make you question yourself as to whether you’re worthy of love but keep on believing that you are, and one day you will meet someone who will truly love and appreciate you the way you’re supposed to be loved and appreciated.